Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Lady Vee Life Photo Update

Didn't realize how tall my baby is until I saw her sprawled out on the sofa

Sunday Fun at church

So sweet she made this cake for her daughters birthday! And it tasted YUM!

LOL to the random foot of mine in the photo

Sisters painting :)

My Bro & My Daddy

Nothing like chicken and chess to pass time

CUTE CUTE CUTE!! Did I buy them? No...not yet lol

Ms. wRight and her wRightmaids...missing Ess


This little baby is such a tropper she went in for stomach surgery at two months old...She is doing just fine!

Too cute, from a bday party we attended


How's that for a last minute party...last minute as in 1 hour before arrival

Me & my man...gotta love him

Our trip to Niagara with Pastor Tops & Sis Joanna

Miya's orientation..aaahh she starts school

Diary of a PW- Why does it hurt so bad?

To all my PW's out there
There are times when ministry just down right hurts.  People hurt you, people hurt you and people hurt you.  Or they hurt your family, they hurt those your close to, they hurt the church.  A lot of hurt all round.
My first couple years of pioneering were pretty much pain free... Atleast people wise...
Ha...rounding 5 years I have definitely endured my share of punches and cuts to the heart.  And after speaking with some more of my PW friends I realize this is entirely common. 
Not to diminish the pain of non-pw's, but being on both sides I can say that the PW side has hurt just a little more...

And only for one reason and one reason alone...
You can't say anything! 
Yup that is 100% the hardest thing for me.  When I am hurt, snubbed or ticked off I must continue to gleam my pearly whites and live like ' a christian'.
 Aren't we all supposed to act like Christians?  YES....but let's just say if I have an off day, it gets taken much more seriously.
I didn't quite understand this dynamic until I started to experience hurt, pain and ongoing annoyance.   I realized...wow...this is just a bit challenging.  Now everyone has a different PW style and some women will tell you like it is...these women are lucky...
Lucky they have the strength to tell people their mind, though there is most certainly a consequence to that.  For myself I am just not that gal.  If you are close to me, yes I will tell you my mind!  Don't ask me things unless you want to hear the truth...
But I don't just do that for anyone, cause I have learned not everyone is interested in hearing my opinion.  Why ask then?  Lol

Back to hurting...
I heard the saying get bitter or get better.
I am very determined that no matter how much ministry may hurt me at times, I refuse to get bitter.  Refuse to allow the situation to shrink me down spiritual or back off in the ministry.  Refuse to let the hurts people cause me from continuing to pour out my life on others and looking at everyone with a skeptical eye( wise eye though).
So there it is for all the world to read and especially that darn old devil, hurts can come but I am not backing down.
I encourage you PW or not, don't let the hurts of life make you bitter, let them make you better!!
Xoxox

Monday, June 30, 2014

A Peaceful Home


Often people come to my house and comment on how peaceful it is. Or how 'homey' it feels. I certainly take pride that my home is a nice place for people to visit but really the peace in my home is for us. For my family, for me!  Our homes are our safe havens.  A home should be a place you look forward to come home to. A place that you don't want to leave. 
There are a few things I do to make my house a home. These little tricks don't cost much and can go a long way.
Pray
First and foremost pray over your home on a regular basis. We want to keep evil spirits of division, anger and discord out of our homes. Daily pray over your family and home for peace, hope, happiness and Gods will!

Appeal to the senses
The moment you open the door there is a scent that will emerge from your house. For some it's the smell of food, maybe their pets, laundry, candles all of those combined. But I encourage you to find a candle you really love and burn it in your home on a regular basis. When you walk in and smell that heavenly scent you automatically feel comfort and at home. I actually anticipate the smell of my house every time I arrive home. I take a deep breath as I enter the home. Its therapeutic.

Ambience
Your home need not be fancy but playing a little music, lighting a candle and a relatively clean area can send relaxing signals to the brain. I try to keep my living room in order and clutter free at all times. As this is the room in my house where we unwind. If it's filled with clutter it's a bit difficult to unwind.

Home is definitely where my heart is and if you want to know who I am, come to my home. A home tells alot about the type of person you are and the type of person you are becoming.
When I walk into others homes I enjoy it. It tells me the things they value and the type of people they are. What does your home say about you?


Thursday, June 26, 2014

Addressing Jealousy

That haunting feeling that comes over you when someone shows up to an event better dressed than you?  Or when you work really hard on something but someone else gets the recognition for it.

Jealousy, yes jealousy can rear its ugly head even among the most 'spiritual' christian folk.  While it's not a topic we discuss and seldom care to admit to, if we are honest with ourselves we realize we all struggle at times with jealousy.

But where does jealousy stem from? Why do we feel these awful feelings? How do we get rid of them?

Firstly jealously comes from our hearts. Which the bible says are deceitfully wicked.
A jealous person is a prideful selfish individual.  Ouch!  One who esteems themselves higher than they ought to.  They think they deserve more than what they have and have a grandiose view of self. Though they may not be aware of it, jealous people live in a world all about them.
 
Why do we get these jealous feelings?  Well we are sinners of course . We can be jealous over so many things. We can be jealous of others and what they have, jealous over our spouses, over our friends and their other friendship's. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and one I myself have had to deal with on many an occasion.

So how do I deal with jealousy?
I have to deal with is on a case by case basis. Lol. It really all depends on the type of jealousy you are dealing with it.  But here are some examples and ways to handle it.

Jealousy towards others
Examples: Jealous that others have nicer things than you do, more talents than you do, promoted over you, 'better life than you'.  These people are usually not your friends, but still people you may see on a regular basis.
The cure: Be thankful for what you have. Often when we are jealous of others we have completely forgotten what we have been blessed with by God. Imagine you gave two gifts for two separate people. Both well thought out gifts, but one was more expensive than the other. You give the individuals their gifts and then they start complaining that they want the other persons gift. How would that make you feel?  I would firstly think these people are rude and want to take back my gifts but I would also be hurt. Just because I spent more on one person than the other didn't mean that I cared any less about that person. I think this is how God feels when he blesses us and we are jealous of what someone else has. He has given us so many good gifts in life and as the gift giver it's his choice how much or how little he wants to give us. Who are we to get an attitude over it?  Read Matt 20 The Parable of the Vineyard and the Workers...read it from the perspective of this post.  

Deep rooted jealousy of friends/ family
Examples:  Jealousy over what they have, maybe a friend is getting married and your not. 
Jealousy of friends is a depressing feeling because these are supposed to be your friends/family.  You aren't supposed to have these conflicting emotions. For the most part you want to be happy for your friend but inside you can't conjure up the emotions cause you want it too.  I think dealing with this jealousy is harder because every time you see this person you are reminded of your jealousy.
The Cure: The bible says to rejoice with those who rejoice.  I think the best way to deal with this jealousy is to  rejoice in  their blessing. If a friend is getting married help her all you can to have the best wedding she can. Pray for her new blessing regularly. The heart can only take conflicting emotions for so long, so you just can't  manage to be actively involved helping the person you are jealous of without eventually just breaking and being happy for them. But when you distance yourself it gives plenty of opportunity for jealousy to grow!

Jealousy in relationships and friendships.
Example: Jealousy over husbands time, or friends making new friends.
This jealous often is rooted out of a spirit of rejection. These people always feel that people like others more than them and feel like they are never good enough. They end up pushing their friends or spouses away because they become so overbearing.  They say things like 'am I your best friend, cause you are mine?'. They nitpick when their spouse talks to anyone other than them.  They always feel second best in everyone's lives.  If you struggle with these sort of emotions it's definitely important to share this with the people you are close to. This way they can pray for you and have patience when you are being a total pain in the butt.
The Cure: If you struggle with jealousy in friendships you need God to reveal to you how precious you are and your worth in Christ. Find all the scriptures you can about how God feels about you and begin to memorize them. Your sense of self needs to come from Christ and not others.

Lastly there is jealousy that stems from previous hurts and injustices.  If you have been cheated on or abused in some sort of way  and struggle with jealousy and mistrust due to those type of issues, you need to forgive the person who broke your trust and caused you initially to start feeling this way. Talk to your pastor or a close friend over how you can overcome this area.  
Jealousy is not something to hide or sweep under the rug. Expose it for what it is and be delivered. Growing up I experienced my share of rejection and always felt that others had a more stable life than I. When I became a christian these attitudes followed me.  I had mindsets like 'their lives seem so perfect'.  Making me increasingly dissatisfied with my own. I had to address and recognize this pattern of thinking and God began to help me in this area.

One thing I want everyone to know is any battle you face you are never alone. Everyone you know is probably battling the same issue to some degree if not worse.  Ladies if you have experienced deliverance in an area share it with your friends and family. You never know who it can give hope to. And of you are battling don't keep it in!  Find a good friend and have them pray through it with you!!
God is a deliverer!

Monday, June 23, 2014

Awaken the Housewife in You

Over the years I have met all sort of people. The super clean freaks like my Ma...the sloppy joes of society and the lukewarm cleaners in between.  As a house wife I have become more of a 'cleaner' then I was as a single gal.  Mostly because well this is my full time job now.  But keeping your home clean, your room clean and life clean is becoming of any christian lady, regardless of age.  I notice this generation of women is becoming less and less culinary and homemaker-ish..(like that word) and more and more self focused and out of home focused.
Many young girls don't know how to cook and they are 17...18...19??  They don't know how to clean, how to host a party...Nada! Total waste of womanhood if you ask me.  Now I am not advocating that's girls don't get educations or persue other endeavors, but first 'thangs' first!  Let's get our home in order. 
Years ago I heard a quote that says the 'messiest' place in your home is a reflection of your spiritual life and your character.  It reflects what's going on inside. I partially agree with this quote, unless you are OCD and completely over the top clean freak..
Then I think you may have some other issues you need to deal with that I won't be covering in this post! Lol
So I have developed some little rules or standards I try to uphold in my home, to keep my life in order.
Room First
Always clean the room first then everything else. Something about having a clean room leads to a clean life. If I have people coming over the first thing I clean is my room.  Now some may think 'why, it's not like anyone is going in there?'. And that may be true, but to me what sense is it to appear to be clean on the outside and not be clean on the inside. Have you ever had company and then a person wants to open a door or a drawer and you panic and say 'oh don't go in there, it's messy'. It's an embarrassing moment and it reveals who you really are...a hidden mess!!? How lovely!
Clean the clean
Some people will do these major cleans once a week or once a month...yeeek...
And it will look lovely and then that's the end of it till it gets gross again.  I personally do daily cleans. I daily clean my bath tub, daily clean the toilets, or vacuum. Make cleaning become a part of your life daily not just weekly. I am not saying I clean every inch of my house every day, but I am not allowing it go get really dirty either.  Because when its dirty... It's not that fun to clean and it takes much longer!
Have a Housewife Moment

Whether you are a house wife, or a single gal living at home, or if you have roommates every girl needs to have one of these moments. Where you pretend your from the 50's, get that apron on and spend the day or evening just cleaning, cooking and baking.  Not your thing?  Well get a cute apron, do your hair in some 50's inspired hair style...and grab some heels.  This will give some dignity to what you are doing!  One day you most likely will be a wife and mom, why not practice now!  And for all my fellow housewives who grudgingly clean & cook daily, well why not do it  50's style.  Stilettos anyone? ;)
Lesson of the day: Girls let's be clean, let's be lady like, let's awaken the homemakers within us!!:D

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Loving the Unlovable

Loving the unlovely is HARD!! Can I get a witness?
As a christian woman and a pastors wife I am constantly forced to "love the unlovely".  I don't think this is any easier for the PW as it is for anybody else.  It's not fun, I don't enjoy it and it doesn't come easy!

Well now that I got that off my chest, onto the more edifying conversation...

There have been many occasions where God has placed me in a situation where I needed to love the unlovely.  A reoccurring thought has been that 'God brought that person into my life for me!'  Often when you meet those "unlovely" people, the first thoughts that comes to mind are God change them, God deal with them, God...fill in the blank.  But seldom do we look at it as an opportunity for us to grow. Or look at it as an opportunity for us to become more Christ-like, more forgiving, patient, kind...

We put all the emphasis on their need for change and very little emphasis on our petty and shallow hearts.  Our lack of love for the unlovely is a mirror of how 'unlovely" WE really are.  This thought really gripped my heart.  I think sometimes I have become a Pharisee or legalist in my christian walk...where has grace gone?  Have we forgotten that "no one is righteous no not one" or that "all our righteousness is but filthy rags in Gods sight"...humbling that God looks at my so called "good works or righteousness" like he does my dirty pads.  Sadly as vulgar as that sounds, that's what the bible was referring to when it said "dirty rags".

Mmmhhh...so basically let me get this straight...I am no better that Ms. Unlovely.  I struggle to, I have issues just like she does.  Who am I to judge?  Seems the  antidote to dealing with unlovely people is a cold hard look into the word of God that is a mirror to show us how "unlovely" we really are.  Once I see myself for all my imperfections, truthfully I just can't help but get on my knees and pray for God to change ME.  Forget everyone else, I have issues I need to deal with.

So have you looked in the mirror today?
Don't let your pretty make up and trendy clothes fool you!


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Watch the friends you Keep

I hate to say it but not everyone who names the name of Christ is going to make a good friend,  or be a good influence to your christianity.  As a newly saved christian I had a friend that was constantly a gossip.  Always telling me all the juicy details about others. Sadly, that influence in my life caused me to do the same.  As strong as we'd like to believe we are, we will always succumb to our surroundings.

As I grew in my christianity I began to separate myself from certain people and carefully chose my friends.   I needed to work out my own salvation.  Don't fall into the trap that 'you will change them'.  Doubtful, especially if they have been saved for a good while and are involved in ministry.
The reason it's so important to choose good friends is because it's a reflection of you.  I knew a very good girl who had very high standards and was a devote christian, but she was best friends with a more "lukewarm" believer. Someone who didn't hold the same standards she did.  So when others would see this girl, they saw her as lukewarm too.  They looked negatively at her because of whom she hung around.

The bible calls us to be blameless and flee the appearance of evil.  That can apply to who you hang around.  There is a saying "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are".  What a sobering thought?  That my friends are part of what define who I am.  So if I have friends that have low standards, because I tolerate that in my friendship with them, I too have just lowered my standards.

How many of us would ever be friends with a murderer? Or a child molestor?  Ha...none.
But we will be friends with liars, rebells, gossips, slanders and morally loose individuals.  Friends with people who constantly do the things God hates with no repentance or desire for change.

Now none of us are perfect and we are all being renewed day by day, but let that not be an excuse to unequally yoke yourself in friendships.  Love the brethren yes, pray for them yes, but carefully chose the company you keep.

I have probably the best friends in the entire world.  When I look at my friends I don't see perfect women but I see women who are contending for the will of God in there own lives and share many of the standards and convictions I do.  My friends keep my accountable, encourage me and inspire me to be a better christian.  You have to ask that about the friends you keep.  Take a look at their reputations.  Your friends do have the power to influence you, make sure they are influencing you to do Godly things.

Here is a little check list of things to look for in your friends.

1) They pray and read their bible daily and you have seen fruit of that in their lives (i.e. very good knowledge of bible, talk about how God moves in there lives with passion and sincerity)

2) They don't readily expose the secrets of others.  Basically they aren't gossips or initiate conversation about other people on a regular basis.  When you are discussing other people there is a mutual consensus that this discussion is for the purpose of praying for that soul or in regards them or you.

3) They have high standards, or standards that mirror your own.

4) People rarely have negative things to say about them.  Reputation is very important.  The bible says for us to be a peace with all men.  Are they doing that or are they always in "drama".

5) The center of your relationship is Christ. Yes, you guys can fool around and have a good time together, but do the edify you are much as you edify them.  Do they initiate conversation about Christ and doing a work for God?  OR is their christianity shallow?

Those are just a few things I look at when looking for a friend.  I have usually prayed for my friendships and God has sent me long lasting precious Godly women.