Saturday, March 1, 2014

Pastor Wifing

I was asked some of these questions recently and thought I may share them you

Did you feel called to be a Pastor's Wife?

Please don't make me laugh, I didn't feel called to do diddly,but I do feel this is something I am called to do. The way I see it if you are a PW, well it's sure as heck is your calling now!  If you aren't, don't worry about it, or crave the position... More to it than the title.

Do you like being a Pastors Wife?

Depends on the day you ask me!  Haha
Nice honest answer for you. Truthfully I thought Pastor Wifing was going to be much worse and harder than this...so far so good!
But I do have my days that I just want to say sianara!!

What do you like about being a Pastors Wife?

I like being used for Gods kingdom.  I like my nick name 'Lady Vee'.  I like that it keeps me accountable and holds me to a higher standard than I would usually hold myself.

What don't you like about it?

I don't like that sometimes that's all I am. 'Oh that's the pastors wife over there' Ugh hello I have a name...why am I forever associated with the guy that preaches? Haha

Do you ever feel left out from the congregation?

Nope!  Got a life thanks! Haha all jokes a side... There have been seasons I have felt left out. You start a church and give your everything for the people and then they grow and move on with life.  Those moments are bitter sweet.

Have you ever been hurt by church members?

Nothing that I would say is major or something I will remember for years to come.  You have to have tough skin and a good hubby... Those two things will get you through hurts people cause... Aside from your relationship with Christ of course.

What's it like being married to a preacher?

Think share share share share!  If sharing wasn't your strongest suit in kindergarten....look out!  I share my hubby with 70+ people.  Other than that its just like being married to anyone else.

How often do you read your bible and pray?

The goal is daily...do I miss days...sometimes yes! Do I ever say 5 minute prayers...yes. But I do have a study plan and accountability and I think that helps keep consistency and encourages me.
No matter who you are we all need accountability partners for the basics of Christianity.

Advice to a new Pastors wife?

1)Be yourself
2)Love people and make sure they know you care.
3) Let your husband take care of the rest.

Lessons you have learned?

Probably the same as my advice.
Also I have learned apologize if you are wrong or if you have hurt someone. Even if you didn't meant to, it always best to just be humble and apologize. Soft answer turns away wrath.  Pw's aren't super humans... We make mistakes too...and that's ok, you just have to deal with them.

I also made some personal goals or rules for myself, they have helped me too.

What are your personal rules?

Uhh they are personal...lol
Each person needs to make a list that suits them and their church. My approach to being a Pastor wife may not work for others or some personality types. But it is important to have a good understanding of what the bible says about being a woman of God. And understanding male leadership. My biggest fear would be to be a Jezebel... Lol so basically just don't do what she did..and your good to go!! Haha

Do you still have friends?

Ofcourse!  This is critical, crucial, necessary!
You need friends outside your church to let your hair down with....curly afro in my case. Lol

What is your hope as a Pastors Wife?

Well I actually have a huge burden for the Pastors wife herself. We are always taking care of others but rarely ourselves. I try my best to be open and honest so that not only do church folks get a Better idea of it, but so that other pw's know they aren't alone.  My blog is really for them.  I also have a burden for the aspiring pastor wife or future pastor wife...hope my life can give you some hope of what to look forward too and also give you a little heads up to some challenges you will face, but how you can navigate through!

Love ya
Lady Vee


Just a bad day!

Ever just get tired of every thing?  Just have those days that you are almost begging the sweet Lord to bring you home or atleast have a 'pre' rapture for 1?

Today was one of those days for me. One of those days where life just felt so dull and pointless. I felt unneeded, and at the same time not wanting to be needed.  Vex at the world and just finito!!

It's funny when I get like this because tomorrow I will be all 'in love with life'.
It reminds me not to make permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances.  If it were up to me today.. I would be on a one way flight to Europe!

But how important it is that we navigate through these 'downer' days!  That we don't just tell off that person we are upset with. That we don't just lash out at our spouses or do long term damage to our children.

When I get all 'funky', and notice it I immediately take a time out. Just step away before more fuel is added to the fire.

If you are having a bad day...like myself... Take some time to pray, read, reflect. Take some time to just thank Sweet Jesus for what you do have instead of what you don't.  Take some time to think about tomorrow being another day filled with hope and possibility...

And if all else fails...take a nap!! Often we are just tired, whether that be physically or mentally. So take a rest and know that if your day sucks..
Well so did mine and there are many others out there having crap days too!  You aren't alone...
And at least not ever day is a bad day!

Here's to tomorrow!!:)

Disclaimer: I wrote this two weeks ago....and would you believe, the bad day passed!! So will yours!!

Writing... My comfort

Blogging has become a comfort to me. A usually safe place for me to express my thoughts, emotions and life!  I truly love these moments. In the pitch black, phone in hand, quietness surrounds me... I write.

Some days I have brilliant ideas and am bursting with thoughts, others I am welled up with emotion that needs to get out of my mind and into cyber world.  And then there are days I just want to share the cray crays of Life as Lady Vee... Ahem Victoria is my name actually!

Growing up I was a huge journal-er  I also was a story writer. I just loved getting my thoughts on paper. Writing was like taking a photo of my thoughts! 

Writing has stopped me from saying stupid things, though it also has been means to say stupid things!  Writing helps me wind down and sift through my emotions and also has unleashed wisdom I didn't know I possessed.

Writing truly is therapeutic for me and usually my go to when I am really excited or really upset. Paper always listens without interruption! And always accepts what I have to say!

What is one of your passions or loves? What makes your heart tick and brings fulfillment and satisfaction. As Christians our underlying hope and rock is Jesus Christ, but He gives us passions and interests to help us and enrich our lives!

What are some of your interests?

Below are some recent family life pictures!

Be You!

There is always a battle. The one between who you are and who you want to be.  And then there is the battle between who others want you to be and who you 'think' others want you to be.

These four battles can drive a sister crazy! But they are very important battles to take deeper looks at.

Who you Are?

This is you at your very core.  Sinner, saint this makes up your personality, temperament...it's basically the you without trying, stink breath and all!  It's the you that prefers sweats to skirts, the you that always procrastinates and the you that enjoys sushi or some strange quirk.

The 'you'...you want to be!

This 'you' gives you hope for the future. This person is a ' better' you. The you after you brush your teeth!! This is the new and improved you.  The you that finally stops snacking on cookies all day, the you that reads their bibles more frequently.  This is the 'you' that is in perfect harmony with who you are now, poses no threat to who you are now, but gives you hope for the future.

The you that others want you to be?

Now this 'you', is moving into dangerous territory.  This is not you, but often confused for the 'you' that you want to be.  After all if others want you to be that way, shouldn't you?  This 'you' doesn't come natural, this you involves suppressing your true personality and character. This 'you' comes with much pressure and is nearly impossible to achieve, never mind maintain.  This is the you that is extremely quiet and submissive when you have a lively outgoing personality. This is the you that is always trying to get thinner. This is the you that does what everyone else wants all the time to please people.

The 'You' that you think others want you to be!

This 'you' is your worst enemy!  This 'you' doesn't exist by anyone's standards, but your perception of what you think others think of you.  You see this happen to wives who become so caught up in being this perfect, stepford, submissive wife...that they lose who they are completely and are nothing more than that... 'So and so's' submissive wife.  This is the you that constantly puts yourself down and compares yourself to others. This is the you that most women psyche themselves up to be, but this isn't you, nor the you that YOU need to be!

Well if I ever said 'you' too many times in one post, this is surely the one!  Hahah, but Being You, being Me is something that we have all battled many times over the years. The older I get, the more and more I learn I just need to be me.  God made me, and He made you perfectly.  Yes we all have areas that need improvement, but we don't need to become other people. We need to improve areas of sin and disobedience, but we need not change ourselves. We need not attempt to change our personality for the approval of others or the esteem of others. 

As a PW I am constantly being 'watched' so to speak. I am watched with eyes of wonder and amazement, eyes of those who seek to learn, eyes of skeptics, eyes of judgment and the list goes on and on.  And sometimes in the process of living in the fish bowl you can want to change your fins so to speak. You want to look like what people want to see. Or what you think people want to see.  But what people need to see is YOU. The 'you' that you are AND the you that you are becoming through the grace of God.

In our church lately we have all been taking personality tests. Everyone's personality is unique and a wonderful addition to the kingdom. I am an ISFJ...means nothing looking at the letters but describes who I am to a tee.  I have my strength and my weaknesses just like anybody else, but it would be rather silly of me to read someone else's personality type and say 'oh that's the personality I want to have'.  Sounds real silly, but we do it all the time.  We despise who we are and look so fondly at another... Not knowing that person is probably more screwed up than you!!
It is really difficult to be something that you are not, so stop trying.  You also look silly in the process. Plus you are robbing others of the gifts you have. If you are a sensitive person and you want to 'attempt' not to be so sensitive, that person who is going through a rough time will get over looked. Their back won't patted, there will be no listening ear.  If you are always the life of the party and now you want to attempt to be 'quieter'  fellowships will be more dull, people won't laugh or have as much fun as they would have had you been your usual bubbly self!

Please my dear sweet readers, I beg you to be yourself and let others be themselves!  Don't put yourself in a box or let the expectations of others put you in a box!
Remember not to be the 'you' you think people want to see or  you think they want to see, be the YOU they NEED to SEE!

Lord Bless!

Lady Me..Vee

I have attached photos of 'me'
Which photos do you think are me truly being 'me'? I encourage you to look through your own photo albums, you will be amazed how many little pictures you have of YOU!! Next time you say cheese...make sure its really YOU first!!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Memorize your bible

Anyone who knows me well enough knows I love to take on new things.
Whether it's playing different instruments, reading challenges, cooking new meals, waking early to pray or finding new ways to keep house organized... I am always on the hunt for a 'new' thing for me to do.

I realize this is because I get bored rather quickly... And do not like to do the exact same thing all the time. I also enjoy challenges and competing.  I like striving for a goal and completing that goal! What a fulfilling feeling. There is a saying 'If you aim for nothing you will hit it every time'.

So new business...

Sometimes...ok I can be honest here
...most times when I read my bible I don't remember what I read!!! Old age maybe?
Also sometimes when I read my bible it gets a little...dull.  Not that the bible is dull... I am!
Sometimes when I want to find something in the bible I have to...google it because I don't remember exactly where is is?Can I get a witness?? I know I am not alone here in these confessions... But I have begun a practice that has brought excitement back to my reading of the word of God.

Last year a friend and I began memorizing what happens in each chapter of a book. We started with John.  You just pick one or two things that really stick out to you in the chapter.  I wrote them down and went over them daily. My friend and I test each other once we complete a book and to keep us accountable.

This has been a lot of fun for me and I have worked myself through a lot of the new testament this way. It is also exciting when a sermon is being preached and the pastor says 'You know when Jesus wept' and in your mind you know immediately John 11. Or if the Pastor says turn to James 3, you can think 'he is probably preaching on taming the tongue'. This has also been an effective way for me to connect parts of the bible together.  The bible is an amazing book and memorizing what happens in each chapter is almost like virtually having a bible in your brain. Google is no longer necessary and witnessing becomes more effective because you actually remember where everything is.  You daily go over the books you have memorized, so many books are fresh in your mind daily. Not just the book you are reading.  The more you memorize the easier it gets and the less you have to review the older stuff. Certain books now are so engrained in my mind I hardly have to over view them. I encourage you to give it a try!

My goal is to be done the new testament by May!  Then I plan to spend the summer digging into memorizing it even deeper. And try out my favorite old testament books come fall!  The bible says to hide the word of God in our hearts and meditate on it day and night.  Did you know pharisees memorize the first 5 books of the Torah?  There is a Pastor I know that has memorized the whole bible through this method. I hope to one day be able to know the whole bible chapter by chapter, but to get there I have ti start small.  I would never thought I could memorize has much as I have... You would be surprise the capacity of things your brain and be taught and retain!! They say we only use a very small percentage of our brains... Let's up that percentage with the word of God!!

Let me know if you decide to take on the challenge!!

All by myself...

So here is a little honesty from one Pw's heart right to yours.

I am sure you have heard this before...and it isn't to gripe or complain about this blessed position of Pastor wife-ship...but I must share...

I am all by myself!! It can get lonely folks!  And this post really isn't to chat about why it's lonely but to share what God has taught me through the loneliness and how to overcome loneliness!  Because news flash Lady Vee... Pastor's wives aren't the only lonely folks in the universe!

When I first became a PW and encountered loneliness I didn't handle it well. I would gripe, complain, be sad, annoy the hubster...whine...oh and attempt to read my bible and pray... Lol but that was the last resort of course. Haha

Now after 5 years...a measly 5 years... I have learned a little bit. I have learned the lonely moments are the best to draw near to God. Way to give you a cliche huh? 
But let's get practical here...my hubby leaves to go to a prayer meeting, or off to write a sermon and there I am. Wanting his attention, missing my friends, or just feeling completely out of place in my own church and what can I do?

I have two options...
I can give into temptation
Listen to the Devils foolishness and throw myself one HUGE pity party...

Or

I can run to the one true friend I have in this world. The one person who is always there.
No matter what time of night, and he is never too busy for me!! Sounds like a good friend huh?  Well guess what He isn't just my friend... He is yours too! And He is your best option to turn to when loneliness comes nocking at your door.

Today loneliness came nocking...
And the Devil came with his agenda. He suggested a counter fit friend.  He suggested I watch the show 'friends' to make me feel better.  Now, heck I dont even watch TV, nor own a TV...but with the internet a date with 'friends' is only a click away...

Now I must confess in the past this counterfeit solution has been one I opted for. But it has never lead to me feeling any better.
So I sat at my computer... A click away from watching my once 'all time favorite show'.
But I opted out and chose to look for a sermon.  I came across a sermon about 'Overcoming temptation' by Robert Morris.

By the end I was empowered and went to study my bible. Spiritual practices lead to more spiritual practices. And in the end I didn't feel lonely. Because my God truly will supply all my needs. If you need a friend
...He will be your friend.  If you need comfort...He will be your comfort... He is the lifter of your head!  .

So moral of this long story...when you are lonely... Turn to Jesus. Perhaps praying isn't what you feel like at that moment... So watch a sermon, listen to a Christian song, read a Christian blog, watch a christian movie...

My evening started out with that lonely feel and by the end I was disappointed when my husband arrived home. Not that I wasn't happy to see him, but I so enjoyed my the with the Lord I didn't want it interrupted!!

Share your over coming loneliness testimony with me!!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Birthday Gifts From God!

A couple weeks ago a friend of mine text me to tell me Revival was starting at my mother church on my birthday with one of my favorite preachers!  I remember thinking 'what an awesome birthday gift' from the Lord.

Then I was reminded of a sermon I heard a couple years back. The preacher talked about birthdays and how he began asking the Lord for spiritual gifts on his birthday. I remember hearing this sermon around my birthday and began to do the same.

I have made it a tradition a couple weeks before each birthday to ask the Lord for a gift.  Something special to take into the following year of my life.

This year with all the busyness of life, I almost forgot... But this revival was God's sweet way of reminding me he loves and cares for me and wants to give me so much more ' spiritually'.

The bible says ' we have not because we ask not' and if we would ask we would receive.
I know it sounds like a silly concept but over the last couple years every birthday has been a spiritual reference point for myself.  Some of my birthday gifts from God have been peace, deliverance from insecurities and mind battles, tangible maturity, and enlarging of heart and love for others.

Tonight I realized God is interested in the small details of your life just as much as the large. And every year that passes He wants to celebrate with you too!  He is our Father and wants to give us good gifts...but we seldom ask!

I encourage you a couple weeks before your next birthday begin to ask the Lord for a 'spiritual gift' and see God work a miracle!

And make sure to share with me your birthday gift testimony!! :)

Love you all!
Lady Vee