These stories had be in stitches of laughter. Who knew labor could actually be funny?? Enjoy!!
A couple who didn't speak English came in ready to deliver. The man kept trying to get out of the delivery room, but we kept insisting he had to stay for moral support. When the baby emerged, I turned the man's head so his eyes were on the delivery. Unfortunately, the next day I found out that he wasn't the woman's husband. He was her brother.
A patient was having trouble pushing. Her belly was numb from the epidural so I told her to push hard enough that she could feel it in her chest. I was demonstrating so intensely that I passed gas -- really loudly. I told her, "See, if you push, things happen down there!" She laughed so hard that she ended up giving birth to her baby in hysterics.
A dad called in to inform us that his wife's water had broken. We told him to hurry to the hospital. He arrived quickly, holding a jar of her amniotic fluid. Unfortunately, he left the wife at home.
'When my brother was born, they had to use forceps to get him out. My mom saw them and screamed "THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY KITCHENWARE IN THERE!"'
My mothers labour was extremely short, I was born within an hour. So that means that she went from experiencing minimal pain, to extreme pain with little time to adjust. When my dad was driving her to the hospital, he unfortunately had to stop for gas. He went into pay, and just then an elderly man in a wheelchair stopped him, asking him to buy cigarettes for him as the store was not wheelchair accessible. My mom then proceeded to lean out the window, yelling "DONT HELP THE CRIPPLE."'
When in labour with dd I was on my way to have a bath to ease pain. So the midwife in hospital ran the bath... I said "oh you will have to leave me a second I need a poop" she said "r u sure" so i started before she even left. sSe ran at me taking me out of toilet... I was shoutin Noooo put me back I need toilet. I was crying and trying to tell them. They kept sayin 'Laura It's your baby.' They got me in bath and I can't stop this pushing... I looked up and seen a poo floating in water with me... I screamed and swished it of.. the student Midwife ended up chasing it around with a net :S I was mortified.
My babies head was nearly out so was Puttin a lot of pressure on my bowels (yuk) il never forget that wee tiny net (the type used to catch fish) being flung in the pool tryin to catch that yuky floater. Oh and i haven't spoke about it since lol. Was all worth it though ￼,