S E C U R E 💗 L O V E
One of the most depressing days of the year for some is less than 24 hours away! You guessed it. Valentine's Day! It's bewildered to think that a dahy that should symbolize love and romance can leave many feeling dissatisfied and disappointed in their relationships!
Can we talk?
When I first got married, I thought Valentine's Day was a 'big' thing. I wanted my husband to whisk me off my feet in some way, big or small. He obliged, but somehow the day always felt off! Forced if you will.
Fast forward 13 years and 'vday' to is not a day where things feel dreaded or anticipated. It's just a day. Perhaps we will take the opportunity to celebrate our 'love', perhaps we won't. Eitherway I am not phased by the outcome.
So what changed? Security!
When I first got married I wasn't secure in my husbands love for me. I needed much reassurance that he had all the butterfly feelings I had for him. I needed the constant reminders. Hugs, dates, I love you's...the whole works. I needed to feel secure of his love (his vows some how were enough for me lol)
If you are married, ask yourself...if my spouse did nothing for me this Valentine's Day.... would I be satisfied? If you answer is 'no' like mine was many years ago, that's gives a little window into the state of your relationship.
How secure are you in your spouses love? This is a question, I wish I had asked myself sooner in my marriage. Security is everything in a marriage.
I tell many guys that the reason most women want to celebrate Valentine's is because it's the one day we can count on some romance. If men showed their spouses romance majority of the year, Valentine's Day really wouldn't be so much of an issue.
I am not against celebrating Valentine's Day at all. I just think it's an awesome opportunity re-evaluate the state of your relationship and instead of focusing on flowers and chocolate, taking the opportunity to build security.
Here are some of my top Security Builders
A B S E N C E || As the saying goes 'Women fall in love in a man's presence, but men fall in love in your absence'. Often times as ladies we don't give our spouse the opportunity to show his love for us. We end up nagging and complaining and then when he does what we ask for we still aren't satisfied. Try giving your man some space, wait for him to come to you and show you love. There is nothing like unexpected, unprompted gestures of love & affection.
S O B E R M I N D || The Bible tells us to be of a sober mind in 1Peter 5:8. Essentially that your mind to be under the influence of the holy spirit. We need to be able to look at a situation and put things in perspective. Look at a situation soberly, not hormonally. Unfortunately I have been guilty of the latter one too many a time!
F E A R. L E S S || Fear so easily robs us of security it our relationships. It tells us our spouses don't love us, we won't have successful marriage, we aren't enough...you know the tune. What we all need to remember is while life is amazing with our spouse, it is p o s s i b l e without them. But we forgot life without Jesus is is i m p o s s i b l e and we can't live without Him. The closer you get to Jesus, the less you actually 'need' your spouse, yet the more secure your relationship becomes.... craziest paradox out there!!
My prayer for marriages this Valentine's Day is that you would be secure in your love for one another! Chocolates and flowers are lovely, but without being secure in your love, they don't mean much!