H O W t o b e a P W?
A L B E I T G L A M O R O U S looking, any aspiring or about to be P W could use a few pointers before embarking the journey of PW-DOM. Before my husband I began our church 9 years ago I remember trying to glean all the knowledge and wisdom I could from other pw's, asking questions, reading blogs/books ect. Here are a few things I have learned in 9 years of ministry...and believe me I still have much more to learn!!
N O T T H E P A S T O R.
I will never forget the unbelievably embarassing moment when my hubby and I started our church. We were about 3 months in and we had a Bible study. We played this video... and in my humble opinion...it was B O R I N G. Our study probably had all of 5 people there and we sat there for at least 2 hours watching the most boring video of all times. Of course educational and probably very informative for a new Christian...but to me it was boring! I decided to open my big mouth and say to my hubby 'maybe it's time to turn it off, it's a bit long'. Privately of course...but I will never forget my his F A C E and W O R D S. He said 'you are not the pastor Victoria'. And just like that I was delivered! The church and how it's run is my hubby's job. I am there to support and have a good attitude!
G O O D B Y E P E R F E C T.
Perhaps this won't be every PW's battle. But I have an inner need for perfection, a sickness to be honest. I expect/ed so much from myself. To always be chipper, to always have my home clean, never let my church see me cross with my hubby or cry or show any sign of weakness. Well that lasted all about 5 minutes. I wish I would have let go of my preconceived expectations of PW-hood. It's ok if you aren't a great cook, or the best piano player. Don't worry if book keeping isn't your strongest suit, or you aren't the life to the party. Or perhaps you are too much of the life of the party...J U S T be you and forgo the P E R F E C T PW fantasy...she just doesn't exist!
I N V E S T I N F E L L O W S H I P.
This one I am reluctant to write because it's not always easy for me and my introverted self! hahah. But I do think it's vital to being a PW. Learning to be hospitable, warm and welcoming and enjoying having people in your home. I will admit sometimes I have been too tired for fellowship, but I realize especially in the early stages your home will be a reference point to believers in church. For some it's a place they can go to on holidays because their families don't really do anything. For others, it's a place where they can get a good meal or just hang out till 3 am and feel accepted, loved and cared for. It can be very inconvenient having the doors open to your home, but definitely the foundation on which you want to help build your church.
L O V E T H A T M A N. B U T R E L E A S E H I M
A smart PW knows that before anything her marriage comes first. After Jesus of course!
Don't exhaust yourself so much that you don't have the time to nurture and feed your relationship. Ministries, careers and children come and go...but he will never leave you! On the other side of that coin I have had to learn he isn't all mine. I share him with 120 other people...I digress. I have/am learning (lol have to be honest here) to trust God and release him, it will hurt sometimes, actually most times but this is where Jesus comes to fill the void!
Recently I went to a conference and the pastor was preaching about wives and ministry. He stated 'the man you are forcing him to be is not the man you want'. His calling is a key component of who he is. What motivates and drives him. I never want to be the wife who stands in the way of that!
While most of life is lived in hindsight...it's nice to at least get a jump start sometimes! Hope my experiences can be of assistance to PW's out there :)