How to be a Great Hostess as an Introvert

A few weeks ago, I went to another PW friends for dinner and we were talking about hospitality and how to host a fellowship.  One thing her and I both have in common is that we are both INTROVERTS.  We don't like people...I mean! lol Hahah Of course we love people, but only in small doses!
But being a PW we don't always get to have those "tiny fellowships with our closest friends".  We are often stretched and challenged to have people in our homes that we don't know....and plenty of them!
Which is a blessing but a challenge for us at the same time! So here's how I host a fellowship as an intro-wife!

1) Meal Planning-this can be super intimidating if you aren't a Martha Stewart in the kitchen.  And even if you are, you still can get a little bit nervous about cooking for a larger group of people.

Solution: When all else fails order in or make a tried tested and true meal.  This is not a time to be experimenting with something new.  You really don't need the added stress.  Italian is an easy go to for me personally, pasta, garlic bread and salad! Everybody loves it and it's hard to get wrong. My dear friend made Sausage and Rice casserole for us. It's a family staple in her house and something she was very comfortable making.  If cooking isn't your thing order pizza, or get and oven roasted chicken with some salads from the cooked section of your grocery store.  Having people over should be fun and exciting...not stressful. SO whatever ways you can skimp on the stress DO IT!

2) Cleaning the day before- If your house is a disaster the day you have people coming over your emotions are most likely going to be riding on high.  A clean house gives a peaceful atmosphere and a peaceful you.

Solution: Begin cleaning the main areas of your home the day before.  Your powder room, front door closet, kitchen and living room are all areas of focus. You will feel much more at ease knowing that under your bathroom sink is organized when your guest use your bathroom.  Or your closet doesn't have a cascade of items falling out of it as you attempt to hang your guests coat(been there:0). If your house is in quite a funk, start a few days in advance room by room.

3) Have it all ready to go- When your guests arrive, to avoid awkward silence have everything ready to go.  So whether there are snacks on  the coffee table, drinks out for them to help themselves to, make sure it's all ready to go so no one is sort of standing there waiting to be served.  Depending on your crowd having a game out is a great icebreaker.

4)If you can't take the heat...HEAD to the KITCHEN-this is my FAV tip and where I spend A LOT of my time during a fellowship.  Too many people can overwhelm me and sometimes I just don't know what to say! Small talk and me just don't go very well.  So I resort to my kitchen and begin to clean when I have those moments I just don't know what to do with myself!  Being in the kitchen cleaning is socially acceptable and often someone will often come and begin to help(a perfect way to bond...over dishes).  It gives the appearance of me still being social but allows me to re-energize and re-group my escalating emotions!

The older I get and the more my church grows the more apparent my introversion has become.  A good post on this was written by a dear friend of mine about being an introvert pastors wife. Click here to read.
Being and introvert as a christian at times can seem counter productive and challenging.  We need to reach out to others and be a blessing, yet our personality traits seems to often get in the way.  Don't allow that to stop you from reaching out to others...find ways to do it on your terms in a way that is comfortable for you. There will be times it won't happen that way and all I can say is HEAD TO THE KITCHEN.

Funny story, even when I go to other peoples homes for a fellowship where there are lots of people I head to the kitchen when I get overwhelmed.  I just start helping them clean and I look like the "sweetest thing".  Ha little do they know...well now my secrets out!

Happy Fellow-shipping!!


  1. This is great! And you know I was just thinking the other day that I wish I had an enclosed kitchen!! Lol, so true though, there's more of us out there than we realize. And the struggle is real but I am grateful for friends like you to share it with!

    Xo Kristin

    1. Thanks! Yup we are all in this together! Lol and its true your kitchen is right smack in the heart of your house!!


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