There is always a battle. The one between who you are and who you want to be. And then there is the battle between who others want you to be and who you 'think' others want you to be.
These four battles can drive a sister crazy! But they are very important battles to take deeper looks at.
Who you Are?
This is you at your very core. Sinner, saint this makes up your personality, temperament...it's basically the you without trying, stink breath and all! It's the you that prefers sweats to skirts, the you that always procrastinates and the you that enjoys sushi or some strange quirk.
The 'you'...you want to be!
This 'you' gives you hope for the future. This person is a ' better' you. The you after you brush your teeth!! This is the new and improved you. The you that finally stops snacking on cookies all day, the you that reads their bibles more frequently. This is the 'you' that is in perfect harmony with who you are now, poses no threat to who you are now, but gives you hope for the future.
The you that others want you to be?
Now this 'you', is moving into dangerous territory. This is not you, but often confused for the 'you' that you want to be. After all if others want you to be that way, shouldn't you? This 'you' doesn't come natural, this you involves suppressing your true personality and character. This 'you' comes with much pressure and is nearly impossible to achieve, never mind maintain. This is the you that is extremely quiet and submissive when you have a lively outgoing personality. This is the you that is always trying to get thinner. This is the you that does what everyone else wants all the time to please people.
The 'You' that you think others want you to be!
This 'you' is your worst enemy! This 'you' doesn't exist by anyone's standards, but your perception of what you think others think of you. You see this happen to wives who become so caught up in being this perfect, stepford, submissive wife...that they lose who they are completely and are nothing more than that... 'So and so's' submissive wife. This is the you that constantly puts yourself down and compares yourself to others. This is the you that most women psyche themselves up to be, but this isn't you, nor the you that YOU need to be!
Well if I ever said 'you' too many times in one post, this is surely the one! Hahah, but Being You, being Me is something that we have all battled many times over the years. The older I get, the more and more I learn I just need to be me. God made me, and He made you perfectly. Yes we all have areas that need improvement, but we don't need to become other people. We need to improve areas of sin and disobedience, but we need not change ourselves. We need not attempt to change our personality for the approval of others or the esteem of others.
As a PW I am constantly being 'watched' so to speak. I am watched with eyes of wonder and amazement, eyes of those who seek to learn, eyes of skeptics, eyes of judgment and the list goes on and on. And sometimes in the process of living in the fish bowl you can want to change your fins so to speak. You want to look like what people want to see. Or what you think people want to see. But what people need to see is YOU. The 'you' that you are AND the you that you are becoming through the grace of God.
In our church lately we have all been taking personality tests. Everyone's personality is unique and a wonderful addition to the kingdom. I am an ISFJ...means nothing looking at the letters but describes who I am to a tee. I have my strength and my weaknesses just like anybody else, but it would be rather silly of me to read someone else's personality type and say 'oh that's the personality I want to have'. Sounds real silly, but we do it all the time. We despise who we are and look so fondly at another... Not knowing that person is probably more screwed up than you!!
It is really difficult to be something that you are not, so stop trying. You also look silly in the process. Plus you are robbing others of the gifts you have. If you are a sensitive person and you want to 'attempt' not to be so sensitive, that person who is going through a rough time will get over looked. Their back won't patted, there will be no listening ear. If you are always the life of the party and now you want to attempt to be 'quieter' fellowships will be more dull, people won't laugh or have as much fun as they would have had you been your usual bubbly self!
Please my dear sweet readers, I beg you to be yourself and let others be themselves! Don't put yourself in a box or let the expectations of others put you in a box!
Remember not to be the 'you' you think people want to see or you think they want to see, be the YOU they NEED to SEE!
I have attached photos of 'me'
Which photos do you think are me truly being 'me'? I encourage you to look through your own photo albums, you will be amazed how many little pictures you have of YOU!! Next time you say cheese...make sure its really YOU first!!