Mondays with Lady Vee:Making friends, Keeping friends, Being a friend

Over the years I have been blessed with many friends. I highly value my friendships.  If truth be told, I think I have the best selection of friends in the whole wide world!  Here's hoping they all feel the same about me (wink wink comment comment LOL).  Making friends, keeping friends and being a friend is no easy task.  So with my fine expertise I would like to share with you  how I... Make friends, keep friend and be a friend!  

Making Friends

1)Prayer: To have any good friendship, you need to pray for it.   My closest relationships are ones that first began with me seeking God.

2) A friend proves himself friendly:  Making friends won't happen locking yourself in a prayer closet forever!  You need to show that you are a fun person to be around.  Show you have something to offer.  Something that would draw others to you.  Side note: If you feel like you have a bit of a downer personality  get close to Jesus, him living inside of you will draw people to you)

3)Go the extra mile: If you want friends, you will have to make plans initially to get the ball rolling.  Sometimes others are shy or unsure about starting a relationship.  So inviting them over to your home to hang out or doing an activity together is a great way to spark a friendship. Side note: I seldom just go out to eat with my friends, often I like to do something with them, cook, bake, skate, swim,shop.  And if this is a new friendship this will eliminate the "awkward"factor

Keeping Friends

1) Don't make too many: You really can have only so many "real" friends.  Friends take work, effort and money (LOL at least mine do)  If you have too many friends you won't be able to build quality relationships with each of them. As christians we should spend time with each other and encourage one another  however, it doesn't mean we will be "friends" with everyone.

2)Be trust worthy:  This is an area where many friends fail and friendships are tarnished.  If you want to keep a friend you must be able to keep their business, their business.   Side note to wives: don't tell your husband your girlfriends personal business. He just may tell his friends and his friends tell their wives and before long...well the stories out! Use your discretion  And think about it, imagine you told your friend something personal and they told their husbad, how would that really make you feel?

3)Invest: Remember birthdays, have special dates and outings.  Send encouraging texts, follow up on their struggles, hold them accountable.  Making your friends feel special is a sure way to keep them!

Being a Friend

1) Honesty & Openness:  I always say friendship is not a one way street. If you find yourself always sharing your life and the other person never shares their struggles with you, I wouldn't call that person your friend.  That's a mentor.  In friendship their is no hierarchy   You can be honest and really share whats up.  If there are any reservations about sharing how you genuinely feel, I would suggest you are not in a real friendship.  For example, if my close friends upset me, it's not hard to share how I feel.  If I need to correct them, I don't walk on eggshells, and I think the feeling is mutual.  Anytime there is awkwardness either the friendship is non existent or somewhere along the line it drifted.

2)Don't be a Rejecto: The test of any friendship is when you haven't spoken for a while and then you reunite.  Do you pick right up where you left off or is everything awkward?  Another test of friendship is ,how do you feel when you and your friends don't talk for a while?  Do you immediately think "they don't like me" or "see they aren't interested in this friendship"  or do you simply just pick up the phone and be normal.  I am a busy lady, and my friends get that, so if I don't talk to them every week, or maybe miss greeting them at church no offense is taken.  

3)Be there:  Need I say more?  Okay I will.  Jonathan and David were said to have a relationship closer than a married couple.  Real friends can be so close to you, it's like their heart intertwines with yours.  If they are hurting you are hurting. When my friends go through hard times, I literally feel it too.  When they go through joyous times I feel on cloud nine!  There is a depth and intimacy, a closeness that has been cultivated over years from being there for one another.  So be there for your friends when they need you and when they don't.  But remember friends never should replace God.  So if your friend can't be there for whatever reason God is always there! And He is the best friend any of us could ever have! :)

A Friend sticks closer than a brother Prov 18:24


  1. sorry guys this was quite a long post now that i look at it! LOL Hope you enjoyed it though! I promise to keep it shorter next time!

  2. Nice post Victoria- friends own a special piece of "real estate" in my heart too! Thanks for sharing :-)

  3. Thanks for this!
    Being friends with Alisha has taught me a lot about friendships. She has shown me time and time again what a real friend is, both my example and by breaking it down in conversations-much like how ur post did!

    1. Lol yes Alisha is quite the friendship expert lol

  4. Vee this is so beautiful. Being and keeping friends is really more work than I think a lot of people think and you are so wise to write about it.
    "Be trust worthy". Like you said this is SO important. I can't tell you how many times I've been crushed to learn personal things I'm processing made their way from lady to lady. Ugh! Not ok.

    Also, I think asking good questions about their lives is a key way to keeping a friend. Questions about what they are learning in their quiet time, how their heart is doing, things they are praying about etc.

    Last thing: I think you are an incredible friend and we haven't even met! You are present, ask good questions, pray, and care. You are a gem Vee! I appreciate you!

    1. Carly this really touched my heart! I like what you said about keeping each other accountable. I was sad to hear you had been victim to friends not keeping confidence. Its unfortunate, but God does provide awesome friends when we ask! Although I am many miles and a country away I am here when you need me :) love ya.


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