Ghost Writer # 3 PW's Testimony

A PW's Story 

My mom was a teenage mom. I was born when she was 14 (in the Caribbean--St. Croix, USVI), the result of a rape.  Needless to say, my grandmother being the liberated woman that she is, ordered my mother to have an abortion.  My mother complied, but the doctor could not go through with it because she was hysterical (not because of any love for the baby, but because of a deathly fear of needles and doctors). This was in 1971 (yep, i'll be 41 in Sept) when abortion wasn't legal.  So I was born.  Now my grandmother had another brilliant idea to have my mother MARRY the man who raped her because my grandmother thought "well she's spoiled, who would want her now?" Awful, huh?  I love my grandmother but she's not saved (Catholic in name only), very emotional, has never had a covering (Godly or otherwise) and is a force to be reckoned with.  So she made my parents marry when my mom turned 18 (He was quite a bit older).  She didn't love him and the feeling was mutual on his part.  They made a go of it, were married 9 years and 4 more children were added to our family.  They did get saved shortly thereafter so I was raised a church kid in a very strict tradition (Pentecostal).  No pants for women, no make-up, nail polish, no hair trimming, skirts were to be below the knee, no facial hair for the men, shirts and ties were mandatory (even after you first prayed for salvation), no TVs, movies, secular music, etc. I learned a lot about Jesus, doctrine, what God requires of His people, about salvation and heaven and hell, but never knew a God who loved me.  So my formative years were spent on a works treadmill trying to please a God that I was deathly afraid of.  I did pray for salvation at 9, fully aware of what I was doing, but the love of God that the Bible spoke of was elusive.  There was also sin in our household.  My father had perversion issues that he had not been delivered from so he violated my sister and I, there was physical abuse as well.  And my mother commited adultery.  Yet, they would go to church and pretend.  My father would even preach!  I couldn't wrap my head around that.  Anyway, long story short, my dad was arrested for what he did to us (thanks to grandma), everyone backslid.  My mom became an alcoholic trying to cope with all us kids without an education so she got on public assistance.  I went off to unversity, partied my tush off, fully aware that my heart wasnt right.  Then I met my hubby(a recovering catholic) who was gearing up to be the next hot thing in rock and roll (HAHAHA), I fell for him, I quit school and we ran off to Austin, TX.  There, we hit rock bottom and I found out I was pregnant.  Being so low, I cried out to God  and He heard me, saved me.  I was tired.  I was only 22, but I was tired of running from God.  There were many times I should have been dead, but God was merciful even when I shook my fists in His face.  It was then that I learned who the God of love was.  He loved me already, it wasn't about what I did, but what He'd done.  So I surrendered.  He  thought I was nuts, of course.  He'd never really heard the gospel, just thought he needed to confess to a priest.  So I told him that we were through because I was going to live for God.  He prayed a half-hearted prayer (to keep me), but God got a hold of him.  Then we found the Las Vegas Christian Center in Las Vegas, NM.  Pastor Fred Rubi was the pastor there at that time.  We walked in and I felt like I came home.  I felt the presence of God so strongly.  We never got a flyer, never were witnessed to (we'd only been in that town a week), we were just drawn to that place because we were looking for a church (and I was NOT going to a catholic church).  We plugged in, Victor really got converted and we served there for 7 years before we were launched first to Fort Collins, CO where we pioneered for 5 years and now here in Wichita.  Its been a long,strange trip at times, but I thank God that He's in control lol! Our Pastor now is Ray Rubi whose been like a father to me.  I adore him and his family.  They have been such a reference point to our family and my siblings as well.  My mom died at 42 of liver cirrhosis because of all those years drinking.  But once again God showed how much He loved us by giving my husband the opportunity to pray with her for salvation before she slipped into dementia and eventually died. Hallelujah! He is an awesome God!!