Tea with Me!
This month I thought it would be fun to do Tea with Vee blog sessions where I share my ministry experiences! So grab a cup a hot cup of your fav blend and let's get to it. Today's Topic:The PW Zone
Being a pastors wife can really change the dynamic of friendships. When I meet someone new at church the moment they hear 'pastors wife' the atmosphere changes.
Immediately their gaurd goes up, their curiosity heightens and I am officially ruled out of the 'friend zone'. This isn't a bad thing, just a different thing!
While I truly believe I have made friends with many of the girls in my church, there are those moments where I realize I am still the pastors wife.
As 'cool' as I try to be I could never really share my deepest personal battles or marriage conflicts. When all hell is breaking loose in a sisters life sometimes their instinct may not be to go to me and share like a friend. At that moment I become 'the pastors wife'. They may not want to disappoint me, or are afraid I may tell their 'pastor'.
Many pastors wives can get hung up on this. Complain that we don't have friends in church and even become envious of the relationships sisters have with one another. As a pw you live on an island to yourself and face battles others don't. But with a slight change in mindset you can be set free forever in the relationships with sisters in your church.
One day a sister called me up. She was making banana bread and needed some advice. I answered her questions and we got off the phone. I was so happy to have been able to help her. And then it hit me. Perhaps I can't be a friend to everyone, but I certainly can be like a mother. Perhaps not in how they view me, but mother in the sense that I can view them as daughters.
This was such a powerful revalation to me. You see, we don't get jealous of our daughters(or at least shouldn't), we don't feel upset or hurt when our daughters go out with their friends and don't invite us. Why? Because we want our kids to be independent and go out and have their own lives. We want only the best for them and often want better for them than ourselves.
Though I do consider many of the sisters in my church my friends, I also view them as my daughter's in christ. Women I can impart to, pray for and help be better women than I.
I know this post may not apply to many of my readers but the issue of 'friends' is one every pastors wife faces. I encourage any pastors wife out there reading this to know maybe you can't be everyone's friend, but you certainly can view them as daughters!!