Ministry & Children
I really can't believe my babies are PK's (pastors kids)
Ugghh kind of annoys me a bit!
Why? There is such a stigma that comes with being a PK.
My oldest is only 11, so I am no veteran in the raising children in the ministry department, but I will share what I have learned thus far and wisdom gleaned from others :D
1) If you love it...so will they! I notice my daughters ALWAYS want to go at church and be at church. They love Gods people and spending time with them. I truly believe their love for church stems from their parents. We don't gripe, or complain about church or going. Not because we hide that from them, we just genuinely enjoy church and the people of God. I believe that rubs off on the kiddo's.
2)They still need your attention. Remember when I said it was hard to share your husband with the church, well kids have an even harder time sharing their parents. Since we have such busy schedules I do my very best not to plan to much in the week. I notice my children have a difficult time when we have people over and they need to go bed and don't get the usually mommy attention as per norm. Though I don't want my kids growing up thinking the world revolves around them, I do try and bare in mind that i'ts hard for them if mommy or daddy are out every night with church folk or doing ministry related activities.
3)Let them grow on their own. As i said my oldest is only 11...so i have no idea if this works, just something my hubby and I have chosen to do. We don't force our kids to be christians. We don't inundate them with scripture memorization, or family devotions (though I know some that have and it turned out wonderfully) Our thought its that we don't want Jesus to be common to them. Which is super easy for the pk because they grew up in it. Someone from our church shared how he grew up with bible stories and they meant nothing to him but simply that...a story. Am I saying we don't teach our children scriptures or read bible stories...not at all. But our approach is more from letting them witness our lives. If I am praying there is an option to join me. And my main topic with my children is salvation and them getting saved. Because I don't ever want them to assume they are saved because they grew up in church and do good things!
4) PRAY PRAY PRAY! When all else fails, the prayers of the righteous availeth much! I count on prayer to guide help and direct my children. Not our own weak, imperfect parenting abilities. I always pray God would reveal himself personally to my children. The bible says "taste and see that the Lord is good" not hear and see that the Lord is good! I know once my children get their own taste of Christ they will serve Him. Until them I plant seed, water and pray that those seeds grow!
5) No favoritism:We treat our children just like any other children in the church. The same rules that apply for everyone else apply for them. While this may be challenging, this is important, especially as they get older. Pk's can easily get a complex that they are "above" the law so to speak because dear old dad runs the church. I NEVER EVER want my children to get that idea. They will be held to the same standard as everyone else. That's not only good for them, but gives you credibility among your church members. You never want your precious church to feel that you treat your own better than everyone else. Even though its natural to want to, being in the ministry you just can't do that! At least when it comes to church and church affairs. Of course personal things are up to you...but when it comes to ministry guidelines, standards and church practice your children need to adhere to the same rules as EVERYONE else.
We have a rule in our church that if you arr late you don't minister on platform. I was late one day and I went to my ministry leader (song service leader) and said I was late and maybe the back up pianist should play. I was given grace...being 9 months pregnant, but he said to me "Does that rule even apply to you?" I said "of course it does, i am no better than you!" If anything I should have a stricter standard. I can't expect something of others that I don't expect of myself and the same goes of our kids. If we don't want other kids running up and down the church, we can't let our children. If we want other children to be respectful we must first teach our own children.
Well those are my two cents! HAHA!
Hope you have enjoyed my little minstry series!
I have learned so much in 6 short years...and look forward to learning MUCH MUCH MORE!
Please do share your own thoughts and ideas on children and ministry! Would love to hear!'
Ugghh kind of annoys me a bit!
Why? There is such a stigma that comes with being a PK.
My oldest is only 11, so I am no veteran in the raising children in the ministry department, but I will share what I have learned thus far and wisdom gleaned from others :D
1) If you love it...so will they! I notice my daughters ALWAYS want to go at church and be at church. They love Gods people and spending time with them. I truly believe their love for church stems from their parents. We don't gripe, or complain about church or going. Not because we hide that from them, we just genuinely enjoy church and the people of God. I believe that rubs off on the kiddo's.
2)They still need your attention. Remember when I said it was hard to share your husband with the church, well kids have an even harder time sharing their parents. Since we have such busy schedules I do my very best not to plan to much in the week. I notice my children have a difficult time when we have people over and they need to go bed and don't get the usually mommy attention as per norm. Though I don't want my kids growing up thinking the world revolves around them, I do try and bare in mind that i'ts hard for them if mommy or daddy are out every night with church folk or doing ministry related activities.
3)Let them grow on their own. As i said my oldest is only 11...so i have no idea if this works, just something my hubby and I have chosen to do. We don't force our kids to be christians. We don't inundate them with scripture memorization, or family devotions (though I know some that have and it turned out wonderfully) Our thought its that we don't want Jesus to be common to them. Which is super easy for the pk because they grew up in it. Someone from our church shared how he grew up with bible stories and they meant nothing to him but simply that...a story. Am I saying we don't teach our children scriptures or read bible stories...not at all. But our approach is more from letting them witness our lives. If I am praying there is an option to join me. And my main topic with my children is salvation and them getting saved. Because I don't ever want them to assume they are saved because they grew up in church and do good things!
4) PRAY PRAY PRAY! When all else fails, the prayers of the righteous availeth much! I count on prayer to guide help and direct my children. Not our own weak, imperfect parenting abilities. I always pray God would reveal himself personally to my children. The bible says "taste and see that the Lord is good" not hear and see that the Lord is good! I know once my children get their own taste of Christ they will serve Him. Until them I plant seed, water and pray that those seeds grow!
5) No favoritism:We treat our children just like any other children in the church. The same rules that apply for everyone else apply for them. While this may be challenging, this is important, especially as they get older. Pk's can easily get a complex that they are "above" the law so to speak because dear old dad runs the church. I NEVER EVER want my children to get that idea. They will be held to the same standard as everyone else. That's not only good for them, but gives you credibility among your church members. You never want your precious church to feel that you treat your own better than everyone else. Even though its natural to want to, being in the ministry you just can't do that! At least when it comes to church and church affairs. Of course personal things are up to you...but when it comes to ministry guidelines, standards and church practice your children need to adhere to the same rules as EVERYONE else.
We have a rule in our church that if you arr late you don't minister on platform. I was late one day and I went to my ministry leader (song service leader) and said I was late and maybe the back up pianist should play. I was given grace...being 9 months pregnant, but he said to me "Does that rule even apply to you?" I said "of course it does, i am no better than you!" If anything I should have a stricter standard. I can't expect something of others that I don't expect of myself and the same goes of our kids. If we don't want other kids running up and down the church, we can't let our children. If we want other children to be respectful we must first teach our own children.
Well those are my two cents! HAHA!
Hope you have enjoyed my little minstry series!
I have learned so much in 6 short years...and look forward to learning MUCH MUCH MORE!
Please do share your own thoughts and ideas on children and ministry! Would love to hear!'
Comments
Post a Comment