Ghostwriter #4- A Mothers Rant

I knew this entry was due and yet I found myself without inspiration. I have had 3 years of broken sleep, and the effects of juggling 2 children and a husband additional to all the other daily tasks that make up my day & night for that matter.

So I thought I might simply write about the challenge of getting the time to sit down and write this entry. It is now 3:30pm, I started this entry at 8:30 this morning. I have had very little success getting 2 sentences written without having one of my children, the dog or the phone- cry, fuss, and interrupt me to the point where I have left the computer for hours, trying to keep the deadline in mind.

It’s almost as though because I want to get this done my children have decided to nap at different times, become additionally fussy. Refuse to play outside or do anything other than try to obtain my attention. Then I get a whole 5 seconds to myself and I can’t think of what to write OR I look over and find my son shooting things down the vent and realize that the silence was not a good thing.

Ahh Parenthood…..did I mention I’m getting my tubes tied this summer? Yes that would be because I know my limits. I really couldn’t imagine doing this all over again…The sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the loss and regression of my memory…due to having to remember hundreds of things at once that anything to do with myself gets blown out the window.

Then just as I think I am about to fall asleep standing…I realize I haven’t prepared dinner. So I get up and search the freezer for something to thaw. Oh Good meat balls. So I put those in the crock pot, sauce them up and try to get back to the computer to write about this deadline that is leering over me…Then my mind goes into my daily to do list and it starts to check things off one by one… Children fed: Check Rooms Cleaned: Check, Children Napped: ½ check, Dinner prep: Check- Laundry….nope, bought a card for this weekend’s baptism? ..nope.. main room cleaned…nope..and on goes the list.

 Yikes! I try to get all the house work done by Friday so that my weekends can be kick back since I have the help of my hubby to share the……ok so I just found both my children under the coffee table and they are chewing on a marker, my 7 month old is colored with green marker and my 3 year old has painted his face with marker. So I pull them out from under there, and set them up with his wooden train set. I think to myself…ok its 3:42 and I have still no idea what time hubby will be home…darn…could really use some time to myself. The weather is beautiful outside, I set up the kiddie pool and made some lunch for my son….which reminds me he didn’t eat. So I have to figure out something else to feed him. Why does my child avoid eating??

My daughter has started to crawl and so she is all over the place, my son leaves choke able objects everywhere so I am constantly checking for items he may leave around that she may decide to ingest. While my children play for a minute the dog has now decided to drive me crazy by barking to be let out. I get up, let her out, sit down at the computer and just as my fingers hit the keys; my daughter has squished her finger under a toy. So she starts crying. I get up to tend to her and she becomes distracted by a toy my son has. So I put her down take a HUGE breath and go to type again just in time for the dog to bark & scratch to come inside….I get out of my chair, stomp to the back door where I am ready to sell the dog on kijiji and let her in, only she wants to sit with her head in the door way taking in the air conditioning while her body continues to enjoy the heat from outside. While this is happening I can only think of the deadline to put in this entry and so I yell at the dog, she comes inside and I tend to the children who are now freaking out again because they are kids and that happens. So this happens about 100 more times, all the while trying to feed my son, a spoon of peanut butter (protein) a yogurt, and a fruit cup….there is lunch…then I found a pretzel from the deli so he ate that as well. Phew Lunch is done for him and its only 4:01 which means dinner is in 2 hours.

I belong to a quilter’s guild and I am supposed to make 9 post cards that are quilted. I have done none. I am awaiting a rainy day when somebody else is home and can look after the children for me so that I can (without guilt) get these darn things done. They are due in 2 weeks’ time. YIKES!

Here’s the thing: Motherhood, wifehood & just being a woman all have their tasks, duties and responsibilities, however if you can’t take the time to sit and reflect about it with a smile on your face at some point, even if it’s for a blog contest, then you’re probably not enjoying it enough. As much as I found it difficult to find a quiet minute in my day, I signed up for this, and so with it are the stories that I look forward to sharing with my husband when he gets home, they are the reason I can enjoy a mani/pedi without guilt, and above all else, they are the precious blessings which I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Time (4:08pm- entry done while 1 child is pooping under the coffee table and the other is quietly playing in her exersaucer, dog is sleeping under the kitchen table where I type this of course the world is now quiet when I ‘m finally done this entry. )