Don't forget where you came from!
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| Victoria B.C |
I have always been one to reflect on diffent points of my life. The good, the bad and the ugly. But my journey through "singlemomness" has always been one that I have held close to my heart. It can hurt very much to talk about, or reflect on. So usually I don't. Its something that I figure is just a given when people ask where my daughter goes every other weekend. Reluctanlty I always answer " her grandmas". Cause if truth be told, I am ashamed. Oddly I wasn't ashamed of it as a sinner, but when I got saved and realized the seriousness of what I did. I became ashamed. And if truth be told the shame, guilt and disgust of it has never left me. Although I am proud of where God as brought me, I take no pride in where I have come from. Especially this area of my life. I may joke about how I used to go to parties, or have boyfriends, but this area, not so much!
Being a single mom came with many stigmas attatched. Lots of stereo types and prejeduces I never knew existed. One major one was the thought that I would never get married because no one will want to accept me an my child! (If your a single mother reading this, can I tell you that's a massive lie from hell and couldn't be further from the truth) Every error I made as a parent would be blamed on the fact I had a child out of wedlock. As I pushed my stroller on the streets, I would be constantly be glared at by the generation that wouldn't dream of having kids out of wedlock all the while wishing I could just dissapear.
I wish I could say once I got saved all the stigmas were lifted and I no longer felt like a second class citezen but I would be lying. Now it wasn't so much others looking down at me, but me looking to others and then looking down at myself. I would see "real" mothers. Ones that did it right who seemed to have perfect control of their children, while mine was an unruly mess. I would watch them all get into their cars as a "family" on christmas while I went home alone with my daughter in the cold. Play dates and mommy groups were not events I had time for as I worked full time, and sitting and reading to my daughter ever night like mommy so and so did-just wasn't feesible! I was tired!
Not just tired physically, but tired of feeling judged all the time, tired of feeling rediculed, and like I could never measure up! When I got married, motherhood changed drastically for me. I had the time to just focus on being a mom! I was no longer working 45 hr work weeks, busing back and forth to pick up Tiana from day care. I was no longer financially challenged, trying to pay rent, daycare and diapers all by myself. And I no longer had the stigma to deal with, which is probably one of the hardest parts of being a single mum!
Years later, I can vaguelly remember the nights I use my open oven to heat my small cold basement apt. I don't really remember what its like to take a stroller on a packed bus. Diapers are never something that I struggle to pay for, and I have all the time in the world to read to my kids. And it has made me realize how easy it is to forget where we came from! A lot of people who meet me now,think I have it all together (which couldn't be further from the truth, I just clean up nice!) and have a hard time believing my testimony!
Truthfully I have a hard time believing my testimony, I look back and think whoa was that me?
And how easy it it, the longer we have been saved to turn our nose down at others. To scoff in disbelief as they completely ruin there lives! We look down at their irresponsibility, their foolishness, their sin and think WHY?? And while that's an understandable question, we are aren't out of the woods yet! Merely skating around the rim of the toilet seat at any point able to slip right back into a life of sin! So today remember where you came from, before you judge anothers life style! Remember we have all sinned and fallen short of God! Even Miss Goodie Twoshoes! None are righteous no not one, and if your like me and clean up pretty good, just know its not you that makes you look good! Its Him that makes you look good!
So we really can't take any credit!
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Years later, I can vaguelly remember the nights I use my open oven to heat my small cold basement apt. I don't really remember what its like to take a stroller on a packed bus. Diapers are never something that I struggle to pay for, and I have all the time in the world to read to my kids. And it has made me realize how easy it is to forget where we came from! A lot of people who meet me now,think I have it all together (which couldn't be further from the truth, I just clean up nice!) and have a hard time believing my testimony!
Truthfully I have a hard time believing my testimony, I look back and think whoa was that me?
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| Victoria A.C. |
And how easy it it, the longer we have been saved to turn our nose down at others. To scoff in disbelief as they completely ruin there lives! We look down at their irresponsibility, their foolishness, their sin and think WHY?? And while that's an understandable question, we are aren't out of the woods yet! Merely skating around the rim of the toilet seat at any point able to slip right back into a life of sin! So today remember where you came from, before you judge anothers life style! Remember we have all sinned and fallen short of God! Even Miss Goodie Twoshoes! None are righteous no not one, and if your like me and clean up pretty good, just know its not you that makes you look good! Its Him that makes you look good!
So we really can't take any credit!
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Matthew 7: 1-5 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye.
ReplyDeleteI think we read this scriputre and say 'yes amen' but we never really think about the consequences of “with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
Never do we think we will live out our judgments on others. But it can and does happen! I mean come on, what is the biggest reason people don't talk about personal issues with others?!?!? Why? Because you WILL be judged.
Everyone judges. It sucks, it's wrong and we all hate being on the receiving side of it. But for some reason we always feel that we have a right to put our two cents in, especially in sinful situations. Our sinful nature wants to judge; judge someones life, character, heart, you name it... I'm pretty sure it's been judged. We verbally express terrible judgments of others without even second guessing the hurt it would cause to others or the repercussions of us verbalizing it. Words are a very powerful thing. If there's one thing that stops me in my tracks when I feel the 'judgemental spirit' coming on it's Becareful....you could be next!!!
Great post Victoria,and I apologize for my crazy long comment! lol
what are you apologizing for! Love the comment! Your so right!
Deleteits funny the judgemental spirit is tangible, how you said you can "feel" it coming on! Me too!! Have to rebuke that! :)
Well put V!!! How we can be so quick to judge or look at the wrinkles in others lives failing to look at the wrinkles and creases in our own.
Deletewow praise the lord!!! love you victoria!-kaylyn
DeleteAww wow!! I do remember the days in your basement when you would make me spanish rice n steak! (first time I had that in my life) with cheese cake. I remember thinking "she's sol cool,
ReplyDeleteI want to be just like her eventually". How time has passed, but It's through the spirit of God that we have been saved because Christ first pursued us and I'm soo grateful! Well said Vic!
Lol. Your one of the previldged few that got steak lol.
DeleteAnd hahah to wanting to be like me! God has made you into a lovely young lady. I am actually very proud of you. Especially recently! Very good example!